[1] These jokes about people, generally women, who have blonde hair serve as a form of blonde versus brunette rivalry. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. POOF! The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. 29. So simple yet so accurate. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This one doesnt have any shoes either!. The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, Where? She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. The brunette throws a banana out the plane. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. How do we get there? the operator asks fustratedly. I would never be able to eat twelve pieces." One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub? She stood there, just thinking about it. The other blonde replied, You have a dollar, dont you? They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. The next day she goes to collect the money from under the pear tree. What dyou do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Finally, the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, Ill get off.. See more ideas about jokes, blonde jokes, funny quotes. Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.. Because theyre desperately trying to hold in their thoughts., When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blonds leans inside and asks the bus driver: Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?, The bus driver shakes his head and says, No, Im sorry., Hearing this, the other blond leans inside, smiles, and twitters: Will it take ME?, She stuck her head out and said, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, The other blonde turns and says, Hellooooooo, can you see Florida ?. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." If yes, then how about these witty geometry jokes? 8. Joke: A blonde started riding a horse. They were stuck in an island. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. Youre finished already? he asked. The brunette guy says to the blonde guy, "You dumb! A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 oclock news. All rights reserved. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. Submit it to us and we'll add it to our best blonde related jokes category! How much for these shoes? she asked the store manager. How Dumb Blondes Solved A Serious Problem, 14. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Your screen is covered in Wite-Out, and your desk is covered in Wite-Out, and so is your chair and your filing cabinet and every other object in your home office. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back. The doctor then asked, Well, what happened to the other ear? The s*cker called again!, A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. And the blondes wander and wander, eternally condemned to subsist on free Auntie Annes samples, an occasional Cinnabon, and the promise of cute tie-dyed linen popover shirts at the Gap for thirty-five per cent off. And this shocks you, and you stand there, stunned, until the significance of the blondes Wite-Out spree hits you like a two-by-four. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So, she became a redhead. Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred. ", A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. One of the best substitutes for this is a concept as old as humanity itself: Jokes! One blonde starts to yell, "Help!!!". The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. So, they dont wake up the sleeping pills. The redhead said, I cant take this, youre my friend. The blonde said, No. She does this again and again. The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank. How do you confuse a blonde? Thats too expensive! I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. She wants it in a brown paper bag under the pear tree in the park, The blonde signs the letter THE BLONDE!!!! What do you name a brunette in a room complete with blondes?Invisible.4. Genie waved his hand and turned the black man to a water closet After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. What's the actual cause a brunette maintains . A: Gifted! Today, we brought insufficient water and no map, and its a hundred and ten degrees out here. Or maybe you are in the mood for these really smart calculus jokes? It is also dubbed "looks Vs brains," owing to the common misconception that all brunettes are more intelligent but less attractive than blondes. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The blond said No way, I would die if I did. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00. But magically changing reality on a whim would subvert our ability to take responsibility for our actions and would be antithetical to human existence. The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. 30. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Then the other one, "Help!! They are often considered to be derogatory as many are mere variants on traditional ethnic jokes or jests about other identifiable groups that would be . Copyright 1979 - 2022. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. A brunette goes into a doctors office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. She soon lost control and began flailing her arms around trying to regain control; she thought she was a goner for sure. Show me. She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. Over the years, these jokes have evolved to a "brunette Vs blonde" battle. After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price." What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?, The bartender says, Wait, I just heard this one. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. When you see a man at a comedy show who does not laugh at a joke, that does not mean the joke is not funny. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. The second blonde replies, "I don't know, I can't see what you see. said the genie. And off she went. A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" So the blonde got in the helicopter and took off. The genie waved his arms replied, "You now have 1 beautiful house, and all the blondes in the world have two houses.". By signing up, you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. Pull the pin and throw it back. Carol Burnett's 90th birthday special stars Cher, Bob Mackie creations More jokes about: blonde. There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. Best Blonde Jokes - 101 Fun Joke's How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? There are three blondes on an island. A genie - Unijokes.com About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. After climate change has flooded the Earth, and the remnants of humanity live below the ocean, a woman tries to repair her broken relationship, in Pella Kgermans short film. Its only 25 cents!. Yes, dear, replied her mother, pleased that the subject had We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. There Was A Blonde A Brunette And A Redhead. A. In about thirty minutes, the dizziness, headaches, and confusion will begin. Daddy! "See that stick over there? So the blonde and the brunette are now both walking down the railroad tracks saying,"21, 21, 21"A train comes and the brunette jumps off the tracks as the blonde gets hit. Q. The pioneering host of CBS' classic "The Carol Burnett Show" wanted a blowout TV special. Over the years, these jokes have evolved to a brunette Vs blonde battle. Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Now for your third wish." The salon lady heard the headphones saying breath in, now breath out repeatedly. A genie appears and gives each of them one wish. the same place where boys put their thingies?. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? She then decides to kidnap a little boy. Copyright Notice: This website is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws. "Has the blonde left yet?" What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? *Olive,* the other reindeer". You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. She walks into the telegraph office and says, I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that Ive bought a bull for our ranch. Tucker Carlson Accused of Promoting a Hostile Work Environment in the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit! Brunette Jokes - Joke Buddha The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see. She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Your ticket isnt for first class. Humorous and Inspiring words. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back. Laugh Factory: Funny Blonde Jokes2. Poof! When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. ", A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. The police stopped her and said, Im sorry but there is no tree on this road for miles.. uhh that was ur air freshener swinging back and fourth. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. Six, please. Gifted! Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? Lament the absurdity of a world where science is used for war. Thers a Blonde at a computer trying to play a game and it says "press any key to begin" and shes looking at the computer trying to find the any key. Impossible, says the doctor. A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off. The first blonde says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?". ", Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" If it wasn't for the Walmart greeter unplugging it who knows what could have happened. Take all the debris you want. And with that, he left. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." If I can, I will send you a telegram." How much will you charge? The blonde said, How about 50 dollars? The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. Two Blondes walk into a bar : r/Jokes - Reddit How much will you charge?" The blonde said, Awwww, I wish my friends were here., Check out this awesome video from Onision YouTube channel. She then pins the letter to the boys chest and sends him home. What is happening that was like one of the funniest blonde jokes I've seen in a while. I had no idea he was that good. He will have you laughing on the floor like a maniac. She was standing on the porch., A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. Each blonde must sit in the dark and confront nothingness and, by extension, death. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? Help! "Has the blonde left yet? After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. The police officer stops a Blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely to see her license. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, Woof woof! The cop thinks its a dog, so he walks to the next one. Cool jokes Heres mine: What do u call a blonde with half a brain? What's a brunette's mating call? Laugh at 25 really funny dumb blonde jokes. ""Yes," replies the brunette. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. She turned into a blonde man. Arguably, the trendiest and most hilarious joke category is blonde jokes. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears? The trick is that they must not laugh. I suppose being trapped in a well is just another banal . These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I could never eat twelve pieces., A blond went to the dentist. Just do it! You rotten bastard, says the husband, my wifes having a heart attack and youre running around naked scaring the kids!! They are short and to the point, so you will love them. Pick it up, pull the pin, and throw it back! Oh, I really liked it, she replied, especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldnt understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents., Dumbfounded, her date asked, What do you mean? Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, Get the quarterback! "N," she answered. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. A. You will sure find them funny, or were not Humoropedia.com. They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants. She copied his whole test page by page. The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs? So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands. You copied Jims paper including his name., So this blonde got into a horrible accident but she got out of the car and was fine and was waiting for someone to come help. Then she called her boyfriend and asked: Why is the file asking me to read him?. 1. I just want to go home." Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Here is how much you must pay. Oh come on!! In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we often forget to take a step back and enjoy the simpler things life has to offer. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); The redhead wished to be back home. She jumped right on and the horse took off. Have you seen all jokes? ", asked the brunette, Youll find Wite Out all over the screen. finally come up and she wouldnt have to explain it. ", A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp. Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly? She leaned over the counter and said, Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.. I just cannot get rid of it." Mary: "Try some Cold-Doc 3. A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. A few hours later, seizures, rhabdomyolysis, and kidney failure. Brunette: My god! Laugh away with Humoropedias Joke Of The Day collection. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. A blonde was driving down a highway and all of a sudden a cop sitting on the road side turns on his flashing red lights. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. Queenofevil: this is too funny im cryijng laughing. She replied in a huff, I wish you guys could get your act together. Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They started to rub it and a genie came out. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. The bartender says, Hair dye? So the blind man takes off his hat. A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, Is it true what Rita just told me? The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." So the dentist painted her teeth blue. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?". trapped? Joke About Blonde Who Tried To Buy TV, 18. There are two blondes and a br. As I have found you here, I will grant each of you one wish." The first blonde wished she was an excellent swimmer. There were three blondes living together. ", A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. Here, you will find hilarious dumb brunette jokes, etc. What is the capital of Nevada? N, she answered.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-4','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-4-0'); A science teacher tells his class, Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. So brunettes can remember them. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, hed give her $50. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Have you seen all jokes? Awww, look at the dead birdie, she says sadly.